A Note to You

I'm feeling a bit strange after I watched "He's Just Not That Into You" for the gazillion times at HBO. And it makes me think. I thought about love most of the time. There's something magical about it, how two stranger meet up, they match, and become instantly inseparable just for the reason of... love. Love can connects two different people with different interests, almost with nothing in common. Love makes you think of all the things you never imagined before. Love makes you do something that you hate before, just for the sake of someone else's happiness. It is simply put, magical.

Love is supposed to be easy. It takes two people to fall into one, and then life happily ever after. Well, at least that's what Disney's movies have been telling us all this time. When in real life, it's far more complex than that.

To love is to be able to accept. It's like when you can tolerate me being super oversensitive and not making such a fuss about it. It's when you actually understand that I'm on my PMS and well, when I'm on it, you knew that I've turned into a major drama queen everyone love to hate but yet, you still try to make me smile all day. It's when you still want to hug me, even though I'm being a very bad girlfriend and wasn't supportive at what you did.

You know, I love our little conversation at dinner tonight, what's with the future and etcetera. But then again, it makes me think. I still remember all the years we've spent together, all the fights and dramas, the problems and the ugliness. I don't want to ever through that again, ever. Sure I have had doubts in you, but it was years ago, I was being what I am at that time, a foolish teenager. And you just being what you are, a boy. It's funny how we cannot seem to forget each other or to move on to another person. Trust me, if I had the guts to leave you back then, I so would boy, but I just couldn't. I didn't want to.

To love is to be able to accept. I love you from the moment we texted every day to the days we've spent at our favorite mall,  for who you are, your badness and your goodness. I love the way you are, and I wouldn't want to change a thing about you, it just wont be the same again.

I don't know what the future will give us, we all don't have the slightest idea. I just hope that whatever that is, it is something to look forward to.

Love you yang, always.

(via sergeantkero @ tumblr)

This reminds me of my

"You're the apple to my pie, the ice to my tea, the coca to my cola."

And for this, I'm smiling.

(via apriliciate @ tumblr)

Yes, we need to know that.

This Time...

Baby, I couldn't lie that I miss you so.
You keep saying "Goodbye" and I keep saying "Hello."

- Music For Sale, Far Away From You

Past, Present. Future?

As I was blogwalking to my usuals, I found a link to my old blog in Rekha's, so I decided to stop by and read it. And I found this... I admit that I'm not a good writer, but for this one, I have to say that I did well and I'm proud. My inspiration for this post was mainly, well, you.



Well, what do you think?

Anyway, I'm in the middle of my exam week and after that, by January 28th until March 1st, I'll be at Kadununggal Village, Sukabumi, doing my community development project. I'm not that excited. Don't ask why. Really, there's nothing to look forward to this month and February. Can I just fast-forward it to March? It's my month anyway...

Ok, I have to go, those slides and papers are calling me back. Wish me luck on everything guys!

Toodle-o!


Pssstt... Check this out!





I'm in love with these songs. A lil' bit about Music For Sale can be found here.

The List

Things that I miss:

1. I miss saying 'I love you' and really mean it
2. I miss calling you 'yang'
3. I miss holding hands in the public
4. I miss having a person who can only see me
5. I miss having someone who's devoted to me
   
6. I miss having a commitment
7. I miss us.

But I don't have time for that. I have to be more mature, have to start thinking about my future. That list is just not worth it. And this guy, the one that I still very much in love for the past four years, have to go. It's for my own good. I'm pretty sure he wants the best for me, too.

Moving On

Kodok ijo harus pergi.
Tidak, bukan berarti ada boneka baru yang lebih baik.
Sampai kapanpun, yang bisa buat dia tidur dengan nyenyak dan nyaman hanya si kodok.
Tapi, dia sudah mulai tumbuh besar, sudah harus lebih dewasa.
Teman-temannya mulai mengolok-olok dirinya karena si kodok.
Rasanya tidak pantas bila dia masih memiliki si kodok ijo yang usang itu di tempat tidurnya.
Dan untuk itu, si kodok harus pergi.
Rasanya memang hampa, tidak ada lagi yang menemaninya tidur.
Satu, dua atau tiga hari, ia gelisah, tidak bisa tidur dengan nyenyak.
Namun, pada hari berikutnya, perlahan-lahan, tanpa si kodok, dia dapat tidur.
Sampai pada akhirnya, dia sama sekali lupa dengan keberadaan si kodok.
Dan baginya, kodok ijo tidak lebih dari sebuah boneka dengan kenangan masa kecilnya.

So, Here's To Waiting.

Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl, who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing that I've ever had to do, which was just to... wait.

For a really long time that's all I had. Little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend. And, a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl I work with but I think, even then I knew that... I was waiting for my wife.

Jim Halpert - The Office

God, that's my favorite part of the episode, and I cried a little during that scene. Someday, I'll have a husband that loves his wife like Jim did to Pam. I know I will.

:)

Logic

Kenapa sih begitu sulit buat gw untuk memutuskan?
Padahal gw cuma tinggal pilih, tetap seperti ini atau move on.
Kalo kata John Mayer, "Anything other than stay is go."
Cuma satu hal yang gw bisa keluarin dari diri gw saat ini, buat apa gw ada buat orang yang udah nggak butuh keberadaan gw lagi. Dan itu yang jadi pegangan gw untuk memutuskan.
Hati kecil gw memilih untuk tetap kaya gini, ngejalanin hubungan yang gak pasti, tapi logika gw bilang, gw harus pergi, gw harus move on.
Di saat yang kaya gini, yang mana yang harus lo pilih, hati lo atau logika lo?
Selama ini, gw emang selalu memilih dengan hati, belum pernah dengan logika.
Mungkin, kalo kali ini gw ikutin logika gw, gw akan bahagia.



Mungkin.

Dilemma

Kenapa ya, gw bisa seperti ini, sesayang ini sama orang yang belom tentu rajin liat blog gw. Ha, bahkan belom tentu tau keberadaan blog gw.

Dia itu jahat sama gw, dia egois.

Dan gw harus bisa belajar untuk melepaskan.

Selama 4 tahun lebih ini gw gak tau apa yang terjadi, semuanya serba cepat, seakan ada orang yang mencet tombol fast-forward untuk hidup gw.

Temen gw hari ini ngasi tau gw tentang blog seorang cewek yang katanya, "Lo banget, wi." Lalu gw nemuin sebuah post yang menarik di blog itu. Postnya seperti ini:

BARU – NEW

Haruskah sesuatu yang baru itu lebih baik?

Ya mungkin

Dan ketika itu lebih baik, haruskah kita gantikan yang lama?

Meskipun yang lama sudah rusak, sangat rusak.

Keponakan saya punya satu boneka

Boneka itu ia miliki sejak dia masih berusia beberapa bulan sampai sekarang usianya hampir 6 tahun

Dia sayang sekali sama boneka itu

Padahal entah apa yang ia lihat, boneka itu bentuknya gak jelas (menurut saya)

Kodok ijo

Perutnya udah robek-robek dengan jahitan disana sini

Baunya udah gak karu-karuan

Tapi dia gak bisa tidur kalau bonekanya gak ada

Meskipun banyak boneka lain yang dia punya

Yang jauh lebih bagus menurut orang

Yang lebih baru

Yang lebih cantik

Tapi hanya kodok ijo yang bisa buat dia tidur

Meskipun bentuknya tak lagi indah

Tak lagi cantik

Tapi entah apa, jika ditanya saya yakin dia pun tak tahu mengapa hanya boneka itu

Boneka kodok ijo butut

Yang bisa buat dia tertidur

Post-post lain dari dia bisa dilihat disini.

Banyak orang yang bilang bahwa gw harus bisa ngelupain dia dan belajar terbuka sama yang lain. Tapi, kalo gw gamau gimana? Kalo gw, deep down inside, still think that he's the one, gimana? Tapi gimana juga kalo gw udah sampai pada tahap gw gak bisa tahan dengan semua ini, gw udah muak dengan semua ini?

Maaf, aku harus belajar untuk melupakan kamu.

Picking Up The Pieces

A: "What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you? What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok? I'm falling to pieces. One still in love while the other one's leaving. Because when a heart breaks no it don't break even."

B: "I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road someone's gotta go. And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better, but I want you to move on so I'm already gone."

A: "You're everything I thought you never were and nothing like thought you could have been. But still you lived inside of me, so tell me how is that you're the only one I wish I could forget. The only one I loved and not forgive. And though you've break my heart, you're the only one.

And though there are times when I hate you because I can't erase the times that you hurt me and put tears on my face. And even now I hate you its pains me to say 'I know I'll be there at the end of the day'."

B: "Well it’s hard to belong to a girl or a song, in the case of a selfish believer. And it’s strange to be lost, stranger still to belong on the strings of a twisting line.

When the path I have made from the grass to the grave, I will love you still.
And when the sand turns to glass, and all that’s left is the past,
I will love you still."

Good bye, you.

Never Say Never

We're pulling apart and coming together again and again.
We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again.

Don't let me go...

Note at Night

I'm a dork and my Boyfriend is a jock.
But we obviously in love with each other.
We have a lot in common, and a even more of differences.
Some say that we don't even match.
Hell, we said that too.
Guess what? We still together until now.
And 4 years? It's just the beginning.
Me and him, that's the way it's should be.

22 June 2009

Ok, so today is me and my Boyfriend's 4th anniversary! That means, we've been together for 4 years and still very much in love with each other. Only God knows how much I love him and I hope nothing but the best for both of us. I love you, Ihsan :)

So, he come over to my house at around 7 pm to pick me up, but first he chats a little bit with my mom. After thaat, we exchange gifts! It was fun to watch the way he reacts to my gift, which is the Barca jacket he'd been longing to have and to the Ck Be perfume as a bonus. As for me, he get me this super cool ZARA jacket, or coat, I don't know, but he got the wrong size! But that's fine, thank you sooo much for the gift yang!

And after that, we had dinner at Kampus (or Pure) at Imperium Kuningan roof top. It was so beautiful, with a view of Jakarta with all the lights and such, the food was delicate, and it's definitely a night to remember. What a perfect anniversary, it made me feel like a grown up, going to a fine dining restaurant and wears fancy dress.

I'll upload some photos later, and also the jacket so you can all see how big it is. Hehe.

Thank you sweetie, for tonight, for this 4 years we've been through, for everything. I love you.

Happy Day

Hmm, where do I begin? Let's see...

Dinner at Fish & co with my lovely Boyfriend and a short but fun Timezone time, playing Deal or No Deal and NFL, really made my day.

The rest, it's all good.

You’re a cutie if it all falls through.
We can piece it back together, I can learn to trust you too.

You’re just too good to lose, and I can’t refuse.
So don’t make me choose between the two.
I’m fed up in here in my atmosphere.
Don’t you know who you are?
You’re my shooting star.

Love you, my I.